We just signed the lease and the Found Objects Theatre Group is getting ready to open Mascot for a full run of shows in May. Friday-Sunday at the Den Theatre 1333 N. Milwaukee, Chicago
Fri-Sa at 7:30 PM and Sun at 3 PM
A man comically estranged from his family has something more important to worry about: a restraining order that keeps him from his son’s high school football games. A tragic sitcom of rage, disguises, wet grass, and whispers.
Performed by Matt Test
Written by Chris Bower
Directed by Kevlyn Hayes
“I believe the knowledge of the rules of living in our society makes us more comfortable…[although] some of the rudest and most objectionable people I have ever known have been technically the most correct.” Amy Vanderbilt 1952
This is a piece of fanfiction that I stumbled up was written by a man who calls himself, Dr. Anton Chekhov the Optimist and what he does is writes new ending acts to Chekhov plays and makes them life affirming. While he admires the stories and characters in Chekhov’s plays, he is unhappy with how they are treated and gives the characters another chance to makes things right. Dr. Chekhov the Optimist doesn’t really write new acts with a lot of dialogue but expository paragraphs that…you will see
Three Sisters Too (2)
The act begins in the garden outside the Prozorova estate and the Baron walks into the house and there is a really fast set change that brings us inside the house. He finds the Three Sisters, clutching each other and Irina screams out, “Baron, I thought you were dead” and the Baron says, “I thought so too but it turns out it was all a misunderstanding. Staff Captain Vassily Vasilyevich Solyony would never really hurt me. He is just angry that he constantly smells like corpses. That Doctor Ivan Romanovich Chebutykin doesn’t really know how to treat people but I hear he has sobered up and is going back to medical school to relearn what he has forgotten.” “So soon?” asks Olga. “He was just here and that doesn’t seem possible.”
“Dare to dream. Anything is possible,” Irina exclaims, dangling on the baron, kissing his neck and she says, “Baron. Now that I thought I lost you, I think I can love you now. I….think….I am…ready!!!!!!”
The Baron says, “Wonderful news! To Moscow we go”
All of the characters except for Masha scream, “Moscow”
Quick scene change and we find Masha alone in the garden, the sound of morning and butterflies wings can be heard flapping, flipping, deep into the sky which is now orange, like the color of an orange just ready to be plucked from an orange tree.
Masha says to the sky, “I wish Fydor didn’t take me back but I also wish that my true love had not left either.”
As soon as she says this, the set changes again for some reason and her husband and her lover are together, holding hands. They look at her and Fydor says, “We have talked it over and we think it’s best that you leave me and go off together in love.”
Masha looks at Aleksandr Ignatyevich Vershinin and she asks, “Could this really be true? What about Poland?” and he nods his head at her slowly at first and then really fast as his face bursts into a smile. Fydor, says, smacking his hands together,”I guess my work is done. Good luck sweet Masha. Don’t worry about me. I will find love again, in old letters and maybe I will take on a few cats.”
Goodbye, the two lovebirds say, together, like a song and watch Fydor exit and everything goes black and sweet violin music is playing and the sound of chanting and foot stomping grows in volume as the stage glows and Olga is in her living room, strangling Natasha, who is bleeding from her mouth and Natasha whimpers, “I’m sorry I was such a bitch, but I know I deserve to die.” Olga, screams, just as life leaves Natasha, “Bitch, I want my house back.”
After Natasha dies really fast, Andrey comes in as the music picks up and everyone is happy and dancing and drinking and Andrey says, “Is there a party? Why do I suddenly feel so lightweight and happy?” He sees Natasha on the floor, dead and he and Olga embrace and do a traditional Russian sibling dance which involves hand claps and foot stomps and at one point both pantomime a bear dancing on a giant ball. A bunch of soldiers run in removing their uniforms and one of them screams, “Did you hear the news. We are all retired. The Czar has renounced all violence and has decided to forever leave Poland alone. He just wants the world to dance.” Everyone comes to a complete stop and all goes quiet. The lights begin to fade and the characters begin to seem far away and the set starts to change, and just as the lights are about to go out, you will see that the characters and the set pieces are all perfectly arranged to look like the silhouette of a giant toothy smile.
Check back next week for the new ending of The Cherry Orchard by Dr. Anton Chekhov the Optimist.